Strength and Honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come. Proverbs 31:25

Friday, July 30, 2010

Teenage Bullying

'Make Your Child Bully Proof
From

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.' Remember that old rhyme? It wasn't true when you were in school, and it isn't true now. Teasing, taunting and other forms of bullying can cause serious emotional harm to children that lasts much longer than the bloody nose or scraped knees. Ignoring or excusing the behavior, saying things like 'kids will be kids,' only perpetuates the situation.
Bullying takes place in every school: According to the Heroes and Dreams Foundation, a nonprofit resource center for parents in Minneapolis, on average, one student in 10 is bullied at least once a week, and one in three has experienced bullying as either a bully or a target during the average school term. The children most likely to experience bullying are in fifth, sixth and seventh grades. Boys are more likely to be involved than girls.
There are three types of bullying. It can be physical (hitting, kicking, taking things or returning things damaged), verbal (name-calling, taunting, insulting), or emotional (shunning, spreading nasty gossip). It is deliberate and hurtful behavior, usually repeated over a period of time. Bullying is almost always done to kids who are perceived to be more vulnerable than the bullies.
The fear of being harassed in school gets in the way of learning, and makes going to school a miserable experience. Being bullied can make children feel lonely, unhappy and unsafe. Children who are being bullied may develop stomach aches, nightmares, nervousness and anxiety.
What Parents Can Do If your child complains about being bullied at school, or if you suspect that might be happening, here are some suggestions.
Make it clear that you accept your child's reports of what is happening and that you take them seriously. She needs to know she has someone on her side who is willing to help her. Today, you are her hero.
Reassure her that this situation can be resolved.
At the same time, let her know that you do not think this is her fault. Her
confidence has already taken a big hit, and she already feels like a victim.
While it is natural to want to protect your child by solving the problem for him, it will serve your child better if you teach him how to solve the problem himself. By learning the skills to stand up for himself, he can use them in other situations.
Ask your child how she has been dealing with the bullying, talk about what else can be done and discuss what actions you can both take to solve the problem. Reassure her you will consult her before taking any action.
Teach your child how to respond to a bully in a bold, assertive way.
Practice with him at home by role playing. Participation in other activities builds confidence and develops social skills, making it easier to find ways of saying, "Leave me alone."
Suggest that your child stick with two or more other children when at the playground, the bus stop or wherever she comes face-to-face with the bully.
Make sure your child knows it is okay to ask for help from a teacher or other adult. Practice what he'll say so he doesn't sound like he's whining or tattling.
Determine if your child has healthy friendships with other children. If not, perhaps she can benefit by developing better social skills.
Encourage her to invite friends over to your home and participate in school activities.
If necessary, meet with school representatives to discuss the problem.
Remember, bullying is not a normal part of growing up. Help your child develop the necessary tools to stick up for himself and others.
The Heroes and Dreams Foundation develops and distributes multimedia learning tools to help parents help their kids ages 5 to 13 achieve academic and social success.

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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Help Instill Self Confidence in Girls

As girls grow, they are faced with self-esteem issues that affect behavior. Recognizing this and working to instill self-esteem through activities is a win-win for everybody. Here are 10 tips to launch girls on the right path.
Girls want opportunities for leadership. They also want to share in planning and decision-making.

Girls want their voices to be heard now, not just when they are older. They want adults to listen and take them seriously. Actively listen to girls' voices, opinions, and ideas. Remember to recognize accomplishments.

Provide girls with a safe place where they can discuss real issues. Girls desire a trusting, confidential environment to feel emotionally safe.
Girls want to choose from a full range of activities. Create opportunities for girls to explore new things, sample diversity, and give back to their communities.

Girls are experiencing teen pressures at younger and younger ages. However, they may have trouble dealing with these issues because their emotional development may not be in sync with their social, cognitive, and sexual development.

Girls' self-images are determined not only by their self-perceptions but also the perceptions of others. It is imperative that adults be positive, honest, and supportive. Girls also need to strengthen cultural beliefs and practices that enhance self-esteem; this includes a competent approach to dealing with body image and nutrition.

Girls are interested in expressing themselves through a variety of ways—fashion, art, community action, the outdoors, and decorating, for example. Take time to find out what girls' interests are and help them tap into their creativity.

Girls want to connect with young women they admire, such as young professionals and college students. They also want to work with "experts" who can share their talents. Offer girls opportunities to connect with a myriad of adult role models.

Girls ages 8–12 are more worried about being teased and made fun of than they are about being attacked with a weapon or being kidnapped. That is how seriously they regard negative attention. Show, by example, how important it is to respect girls' experiences.

In the company of other females, girls can express themselves without fear of being judged by boys. Provide opportunities for girls to build on their strengths and try new things in a supportive all-girl environment. By Randell M. Bynum and Judy SchoenbergEmmieshope blog signature